The German Formula A1 racing team recently fired their entire pit crew to employ a few young guys from Umlazi. This sudden reaction was due to a TV documentary showing how young Umlazi men could take a car's wheels off within 6 six seconds without using any fancy equipment.

The team soon regretted their decision, however, as the men not only changed the wheels within 6 seconds, but 12 seconds later the car had been resprayed and sold to the French team. The Germans were still eager to compete in the race, but since they no longer had a car to race with, they decided to race an Umlazian minibus taxi -  complete with an experienced yet unlicensed driver and fare collector -  in the Grand Prix. Of course, they easily won the championship since the taxi weaved its way through the start grid, set off before the lights changed, and didn't bother to change the tyres when they wore out. It also took all corners at maximum speed as the brakes were non-existent.

On the way to victory, the new amaDeutsche-Deutsche team also managed to hijack several competitors' cars in Battery Beach Rd, and picked up 35 passengers at the hairpin in Argyle Rd (a notoriously dangerous spot) and at the hazardous chicane in Brickhill Rd. We can be proud of yet another South African achievement which will put us at the forefront of sporting history.

So well done there, boys!